I was told by my mother today to update my blog. She meant while I was actually in South Africa, but its 2:15 a.m.,  I have to get up in about six hours to start the long drive back home (not that I'm driving, more like the long stare into space back home) and I can't sleep, so why not?

It's about 4 weeks until I board the plane to South Africa and its finally starting to hit me. Vietnam was my big Peace Corps marker, and now that its over, it seems that there is nothing big left before I leave. Truth is, I'm in the middle of a family reunion, going to D.C. next weekend and hopefully visits from the Goober and Mads on the horizon (crosses fingers), so my schedule is jammed to the gills.

Right now, I'm feeling scared. I know this is a public blog and will probably be read by several people, and that I shouldn't talk about this stuff...but I'm scared. I'm really scared. One day in Vietnam I was in a terrible mood. After, thinking about it, I compiled a list of legitimate reasons why I was in a bad mood, realized I could do nothing about any of them...and then just waited for it to pass. And about two hours later, it did.  This fear? It will pass, and I'll get some more information or have a great conversation with a friend and I'll be excited again.

Day about 10 of 14 in South East Asia. Last full day in Vietnam. Tomorrow we head to Cambodia for a couple days, back home and then LA for a family trip.
By the end of this month, I will have spent approximately four days in my own bed. However, considering I'm leaving for South Africa in about a month (holyshitcrikesfuckshitack), I better get used to this.

I've learned through this month of intense travel
1. I'm a city kid
2. I love my friends. I miss them already. And I have the best friends in the world
3. Eat the weird fruit. It tastes fantastic
4. A kindle makes everything better.
5. I need more sleep than the average person
6. My family is also the best thing ever.

Also found out today that programs to El Salvador and Honduras that were supposed to leave in January and February were canceled due to security reasons. I breathed a sigh of relief because  I was originally nominated to serve in Central/South America, meaning that I could have been going to one of these two countries. And sympathy for those volunteers. Peace Corps takes a lot of work and time and money and effort to just go through the application process, at least six months and several hundred dollars and multitude of patience from family and friends. To go through all of this and just get it yanked out at the last minute, after you've gotten the invitation...well that must be awful. If someone told me "You aren't going to South Africa anymore...you have to wait a few days to see if we can place you, and we'll try our best, but we have a lot of backlog and all of the other people in your program we also have to place" to say I would be upset would be putting it mildly

I hope I'm not tempting fate and I don't get an email tomorrow saying South Africa program is canceled (knock on wood)

http://www.pri.org/stories/world/in-peace-corps-love-often-blooms-alongside-public-service-7105.html

This article says that 75-80% of Peace Corps Volunteers come back from their service, married, engaged or in love

I'm guessing I'm going to be one of the 20-25% because
1. I'm pretty happy with the Goober* right now and it would be hard to replace/find a guy like him in South Africa
2. My program seems to be about 95% female. The only male that I have found so far is married to another female
3. In South Africa, I'm going to have to learn another language to communicate with most people. I have a hard time communicating in English
4. I'm kind of a spaz. And by kind of, I mean I eat like I'm five years old, trip over everything, cannot function without my coffee, don't wear makeup, can barely remember to brush my hair. All that sounds really really attractive

As I said at dinner the other night, I'm probably more likely to get evacuated out of country than find love.
Oh well, I'll get a dog to keep me company

*The Goober is my boyfriend, but I'll refer to him as the goober or goobs, gooberino, or gman because our relationship status is going to change once I go to South Africa and this is my pet name for him.

64 days until I board the plane to Washington D.C., which will be the first leg of my trip to South Africa.

For more fun day calendar facts, my birthday is in 7 days, I have spent 8,393 days alive, and I will spend approximately 793 days in South Africa. Approximately 9.5% of my life, as of now will be spent in South Africa.

No wonder why I'm freaked.