I was told by my mother today to update my blog. She meant while I was actually in South Africa, but its 2:15 a.m.,  I have to get up in about six hours to start the long drive back home (not that I'm driving, more like the long stare into space back home) and I can't sleep, so why not?

It's about 4 weeks until I board the plane to South Africa and its finally starting to hit me. Vietnam was my big Peace Corps marker, and now that its over, it seems that there is nothing big left before I leave. Truth is, I'm in the middle of a family reunion, going to D.C. next weekend and hopefully visits from the Goober and Mads on the horizon (crosses fingers), so my schedule is jammed to the gills.

Right now, I'm feeling scared. I know this is a public blog and will probably be read by several people, and that I shouldn't talk about this stuff...but I'm scared. I'm really scared. One day in Vietnam I was in a terrible mood. After, thinking about it, I compiled a list of legitimate reasons why I was in a bad mood, realized I could do nothing about any of them...and then just waited for it to pass. And about two hours later, it did.  This fear? It will pass, and I'll get some more information or have a great conversation with a friend and I'll be excited again.