For my primary assignment in south africa, I, like all other CHOP volunteers, was assigned to an organization. During training, we were told numerous times that our orgs would probably be low functioning, that they might see us as their "savior" and expect us to do everything, that they might have very little in the way of organizational structure and policy. I thus mentally prepared myself to be assigned to a low functioning organization that could use my help.

However I was assigned to a high functioning, well run organization... that seemed to neither want nor need my help.

For the first two weeks, I think I spent one or maybe two useful minutes there. I spent most of the time crouched between two file cabinets, trying to stay out of the way. I was told by my supervisor that I shouldn't ask questions to anyone but he, because my curiosity would be seen as negativity towards the organization. I was not allowed to look at any documents or talk to any clients. The only thing I could do was observe the waiting room. All of my offers for help were refused.

Let me say, that this clinic is very well run, highly functioning and a great resource for the community. The staff seem incredibly good at their jobs and extremely busy with their work. It is a great place.

Just not one that wanted or needed me.

Last Tuesday, after two weeks of sitting, trying to help and always being refused, I went to my supervisors there in tears. My supervisors were sympathetic. They are two wonderful people who have really helped me a lot They understood why I was so upset, however their busyness and the political structure of the clinic prevented them from being much help to me inside the walls of the clinic. So they suggested I do work outside the clinic, doing an assessment of Bundu. I spent the next week doing that.

And it was the best four days I have spent as a pcv. During my walking around, I found that the last volunteer here had left a lot of secondary projects that could use my help. So I spent this week following up on them.

I led an exercise class for a group of gogos and strategized with them on how to sell their beautiful beadwork. I saw a community garden being deweeded and learned about plans to increase food security among bundu. I met with the ward counselor and heard about the need for youth to have something to do after school. I found all the members of the last volunteer's girls group and planned an introductory meeting. I learned about a library that had been started in the junior high school and scheduled a meeting with the teacher in charge.

The most common thing I heard from the people I talked to was "We've been waiting for you"

I met with my supervisor on friday and made a plan to continue this work and community assessment until IST, also known as the end of June. While exciting, it is incredibly scary. The only structure I have during the week is what I create myself. My supervision is very minimal. It will be a challenge for me. I'm going to need a lot of courage, drive, initiative and maybe most importantly, I'm going to need to ask for a lot of help.

But I think this will work out fantastically.